Article May 19, 1980 Issue

Family communication

J. THOMAS BLACK

We usually think of family communication in terms of what members say to one another. But there are ways of communicating other than with spoken words. Sometimes saying nothing at all says a lot. Silence might express wise and loving restraint, frustrated anger, or almost any human emotion. Sad to say, family members far too often "communicate" with guns, knives, and fists. Crime statistics tell us the family is one of earth's most violent institutions, when it should be a haven of mutual love, support, affection. What can be done to bring to families more wise and loving communication and less frustration and anger? A very great deal.

Most communication problems result from our not knowing enough about our own spiritual identity. Deep down inside, some of us don't even like ourselves. What we need is what a friend of mine calls "feeling right with God." When we are feeling right with God, what other family members say or imply doesn't have nearly the effect it might otherwise have. But if we feel apart from God, almost anything others say or do can offend us, regardless of their intent, and the whole family can suffer.

Feeling right with God simply means accepting and understanding what God is always communicating to us: that man is the child of God. This often seems to be a big challenge, but man's spirituality is a fact. The five material senses can't grasp it. But every human being has soul, or spiritual sense, which is as much a part of him or her as fragrance is part of a rose. Spiritual sense is the ability to hear angels, or God's ideas. These ideas are constantly welling up in consciousness. They assure us in terms we can now understand that we are in truth God's precious reflection, or man.

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