Today's student demonstrations at college often seem exciting...

Today's student demonstrations at college often seem exciting and fun. I had always been pretty tolerant of them until they struck close to my mental doorstep.

I was in the NROTC unit at my university, and we had escaped any student trouble until the late spring of last year. Even at first, during the minor disturbances, I was more amused than bothered. However, as the trouble became more open and aggressive, and as the student newspaper and general campus dialogue increased in feeling and became especially vociferous, I became more aroused. I found feelings of disgust, fear, and hatred growing within me, along with physical tension at confrontations. I let these feelings remain in my consciousness without handling them. I would openly discuss demonstrators and refer to them in a degrading manner. I was cynically accepting events into my thinking.

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January 2, 1971
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