Testimony of Healing January 14, 1928 Issue

Christian Science came into my life at a time of darkness...

Harriet Marcosson

Christian Science came into my life at a time of darkness and fear, and longing to find God. For many years I had been searching incessantly for an answer to this yearning for spiritual light. Since I could not be reconciled to the evil and suffering in the world, I felt that I must find God, or existence would be impossible or hopeless. There was an insuppressible innate longing for life, for happiness, and for freedom from suffering, occasioned by living under the stress and strain of nervous conditions since childhood, which later developed into severe forms of nervous prostration, and from other inharmonious conditions from which there seemed to be no escape. I can now see how naturally I turned toward divine Love from the hopelessness of trying to find happiness and satisfaction in materiality. Prayer had become to me a petition for understanding and enlightenment. But that prayer was answered; for I found God, "the Christian Science God," who, Mrs. Eddy tells us in the textbook, "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" (p. 140), "is universal, eternal, divine Love, which changeth not and causeth no evil, disease, nor death." I found that I could become conscious of this altogether good God, could come into such close relationship to Him that I could feel His presence with me and be satisfied.

The joy that this revelation of Truth and Love brought was great indeed. Aid, however, was not sought for the much needed mental and physical disorders until many months afterwards, when I realized that the mere acceptance of this wonderful truth would not bring the peace I so much desired; and when I took up the work of healing, the journey from sense to Soul was begun.

During the journey the work at times has seemed arduous, the path rugged; for the wilderness of mortal beliefs must be traversed and the Red Sea of fear crossed. Yet the joy and peace of the Christ-consciousness have ever been with me—obscured at times, but always there; and the angels of His presence have guarded and guided, and consciousness has been purged of inherited and traditional beliefs about God and man, and through the unfoldment of Truth, filled with spiritual ideas, which reflect in some small degree the fatherhood and motherhood of God, thus enabling me in some measure to see Him face to face and know Him even as I am known. The healing of mind and body has gone hand in hand with this growth Spiritward. We are told in the Christian Science textbook (p. 203) that "if God were understood instead of being merely believed, this understanding would establish health." Thus Christian Science has lifted me gradually above the dream of darkness, doubt, and fear into some understanding of the light and love, the actuality and permanence, of spiritual being; and it is the answer to my prayer for the living God, the God at hand, the God who knows only good.

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