Testimony of Healing September 17, 1921 ISSUE

I had no great desire for righteousness previous to coming...

J. I. Pointer with contributions from J. I. Pointer

I had no great desire for righteousness previous to coming into Christian Science, but this desire was most certainly awakened in me from the day I first understood the message of Christianity. That occasionally I reflected upon the necessity for an established rule of conduct that would lead to a measure of security and peace did not lead me even to suspect that there is indeed divine Principle governing action and conferring all peace and security upon man. I fancied that while plodding my way through the blackness of conflicting wills I could easily dispense with conscience, humanity, religion, and finally I set aside the thought of God as worse than useless.

I did not come to Christian Science because of moral and religious needs. I turned to it out of necessity. I became insane, and was victimized by my own darkness and haunted by the conclusion that it seemed to be more logical to die than to be insane. I had hardly tried medical aid, for I understood that medicine had no relief to offer, and to suspect that God could heal me was beyond me. I used to read the Monitor, but I most diligently ignored the daily column referring to Christian Science. Occasionally I read Le Héraut as practice in reading French, and at last a copy of "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" by Mrs. Eddy was placed in my hands, but I did not understand well what was written and I felt that the mental effort needed to understand its theology was too much. I set aside the book with the assurance that at some time I should read it, but "not now."

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