For many years I was a miserably unhappy man, owing...

For many years I was a miserably unhappy man, owing in great measure to my failure to find in the various denominations that religious comfort for which my soul craved. Like the dove which Noah released from the ark, I could find no sure foundation for the sole of my foot, and being absolutely without hope in the present, and seeing nothing but despair in the future, I sought the agency of liquor as a quick and certain means, as I then believed, of ending my misery in death.

Living such a shocking existence, no one could possibly have needed Christian Science more than I ; but notwithstanding this fact, like the Jew "wailing in the wailing place," I fought against it for nine long years. During all this period one of my daughters was a member of the Christian Science church here. Although Christian Science was presented to me quite frequently, and while I was, like Job, continually crying, "Oh that I knew where I might find him!" it was the last thing on earth I deemed essential to stem the tide of my troubles.

On the afternoon of Sunday, March 6, 1910, I left a lovely home for the last time, as I verily believed; but even in this terrible condition of mind the everlasting arms were still beneath me, and they gently drew me back again in the evening of that most momentous day. Next morning brought the dawn of the "red-letter day" of my most turbulent life. It was the end and the beginning; the shadow of death was changed into the morning of light. Starting out as usual to go to my office, I got as far as the hall door, where for a moment I hesitated, again sought my room, and to the members of my family who had assembled there I said: "It is all over. I am ready for Christian Science or anything else. I'm through."

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May 22, 1915

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