Testimony of Healing April 30, 1904 Issue

In the spring of 1896 my health failed, and for a...

Ella J. Smith

In the spring of 1896 my health failed, and for a year previous to this it was with the greatest effort that I kept around. I had been told by my physician that I had organic trouble from which I would never be free. I finally tried other physicians and an operation followed, leaving me a wreck both physically and mentally.

As a last resort I turned to Christian Science for help, to please my husband. I had no faith in it whatever myself, but believed firmly what my physician had told me, as he was always cautioning me about overdoing, and also about my diet. One day, when speaking to the physician, I asked him what I could have to eat, to which he replied that he could not tell, that he had never seen any one in such a condition. I was suffering the most intense pain and nothing would quiet me. I would fall into a stupor for a short time after using remedies to make me sleep, but this would leave me feeling worse each time, and I positively refused to take any more, notwithstanding that my physician had said I must have at least eight hours' sleep at night, and at best they could not give me anything that would produce more than two hours' sleep. For five years I never knew what a good night's rest was, and the days were but little if any better.

One day when all hope had seemingly fled, I took up my Bible and read John, 11:40, also the 91st Psalm. I seemed to realize that these words were God's voice speaking to me individually, and I accepted those promises as mine, and also in Science and Health (p. 356) "Can evil be derived from good? Impossible!" When I could realize that the condition I was in was not good nor of God, I found the rest and peace I had never before known, and which comes not in oblivious sleep. I had been constantly looking for the healing of the body, but I learned that through the renewal of the mind, the body is transformed. I also learned that when I could say with all my heart, Thy will, not mine, be done, I did realize the healing power of Truth and Love. I did not, however, "accomplish the change from error to truth at a single bound" (Science and Health, p. 77). I might say here that I felt very bitter toward the physician who performed the operation, and I was much disturbed at the feeling I held towards him, but seemed unable to overcome it, yet I had earnestly prayed to be forgiven. Although I do not remember that I said anything to my practitioner in regard to it, the thought has been entirely destroyed, and I can only say, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do," "Teach them the good way."

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