When a loved one passes on
Our completeness is always intact, because our relation to God is never severed, divorced, lost, or taken away.
When my wife passed on after decades of a loving marriage, I became very lonely and sad. I prayed to understand that there is no death, and that both of us are complete, spiritual expressions of God, having every divine quality and attribute, right now and forever—to know that life is really immortal.
Then God spoke to me and said, “My grace is sufficient for thee” (II Corinthians 12:9). I understood grace to be the disposition of the Christ, God’s healing message. Grace is what I have and embody because I reflect God’s nature. It is the divine or spiritual temperament, the consciousness that does not respond to, react to, or even see that which is mortal, but recognizes only God’s creation.
The next day the Christ again spoke to me: “I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you” (John 14:18). I knew that this applied to my wife as well. I learned that the support we gave each other and the spiritual qualities my wife expressed were not in a material form or character. They were actually God expressing Himself. Therefore, they could never be absent. Hence, I did not need to seek satisfaction, companionship, or compassion in or from a human presence. All good is in ever-present God, divine Love.
I lost the sense of separation from my wife as I began to see her God-given qualities expressed around me.
Mary Baker Eddy writes, “The loss of material objects of affection sunders the dominant ties of earth and points to heaven” (Retrospection and Introspection, p. 31) and that “sundering ties of flesh, unites us to God, where Love supports the struggling heart” (Yvonne Caché von Fettweis and Robert Townsend Warneck, Mary Baker Eddy: Christian Healer, Amplified Edition, p. 39). I lost the sense of separation from my wife as I began to see her God-given qualities expressed around me and to feel the guidance of divine Mind, God, in my life.
At that time I had become preoccupied with home maintenance—looking after a garden, buying and cooking food, washing clothes, etc.—and the verity of the axiom “the more material possessions you have, the more time you have to spend maintaining them” was evident to me. I realized that I needed to find a way to devote less time to these activities so I could prioritize the work of healing that I do as a Christian Science practitioner. Listening for God’s direction, I put my house on the market, against all my neighbors’ advice. It sold for the price asked in three weeks.
During that time, I found an apartment in a complex that had a restaurant, a launderette, and a variety of other services. This apartment, which served my purpose fully, was offered to me despite not yet being on the market. Within two months of my wife’s passing, I had moved in. It has proved to be the essence of home. It has a beautiful garden (which I do not have to maintain) and a beautiful view. Most importantly, I have abundant time and the facility and privacy for my Christian Science practice.
Knowing that all my family members, including my wife, remain in my thought, where they are always present, helped me to get a clear, spiritual perspective of marriage. The Manual of The Mother Church states that “mere personal attachment” should not “impel the motives or acts of the members of The Mother Church” (Mary Baker Eddy, p. 40) and the Bible’s book of Isaiah confirms that “thy Maker is thine husband” (Isaiah 54:5). This embraces the realization that our oneness with our Maker is the permanent idea behind what we call marriage. In a letter to a branch Church of Christ, Scientist, published in her Miscellaneous Writings 1883–1896, Mrs. Eddy writes that God “is man’s only real relative on earth and in heaven” (p. 151).
Our oneness with our Maker is the permanent idea behind what we call marriage.
Our completeness is always intact, because our relation to God is never severed, divorced, lost, or taken away. There is only God, the divine Mind, and His expression. There is nothing present but the divine Mind and its perfect, eternal ideas—each of us.
These truths gave me great peace and comfort. They enabled me to understand that my wife and I are both embraced in the Christly love of God’s ever-presence, and that we are each moving forward spiritually.
I am so grateful to my friends, whose prayers uplifted and sustained me during this period. I am grateful to God for His blessings, guidance, and ever-presence. And I am grateful for the teachings of Christian Science, which have revealed the true nature of God to my consciousness.