How I Found Christian Science September 28, 2015 Issue

A hardened heart softened by divine Love

Lucille Gerardo

In the more mature years of my life, I’ve been blessed by finding Christian Science.

When I was younger, verbal abuse convinced me that I was stupid. My heart began to harden. My behavior became unacceptable, and I disrespected authority. Yet somewhere deep within, it seemed as if there was more to me than I knew. As Jesus said, “The kingdom of God is within you” (Luke 17:21). I felt alone and thought I needed to do everything on my own. Even though my family was always willing to help, ego wouldn’t allow it.

At different points on my journey, I was blessed with two marriages to husbands who loved me unconditionally, but it felt as if inharmony was still present much of the time. I thought of myself as ugly, foul, and obnoxious. Not having much love for myself, it was difficult for me to love others. I learned later that these were false beliefs that did not come from God, but at the time, suffering of the mind and body was what I knew and understood. These years were often challenging, but something kept me going. I know today that the sustaining power I sensed was Spirit, God.

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