My 'arranged' MARRIAGE

NO QUESTION ABOUT IT. I'd seen the power of prayer in Christian Science to comfort and heal sickness and pain when I was a child. But as a young adult, when it came to relationships—dating, sex, sensuality, marriage—I suddenly felt as if I were alone on another planet.

I can't really mention these topics to God, I used to think. He'll just say, "Shame on you for thinking about this—just pretend you don't feel that way!" Somehow I was convinced that when it came to human attraction and love, I had a big decision to make—a choice between God and man.

Yet the desire to share my love with someone in a deep, committed way seemed right. And the strong feelings of attraction I felt on various occasions for particular guys seemed very natural. But how could I know which guy, and whether he would feel the same way? There was also the question of physical intimacy. When was it right? What role did it play in a relationship? Could I control it if I began to give in to it? The answers eluded me.

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