Article May 19, 2008 Issue

My 'arranged' MARRIAGE

BY CHRISTINE DRIESSEN

NO QUESTION ABOUT IT. I'd seen the power of prayer in Christian Science to comfort and heal sickness and pain when I was a child. But as a young adult, when it came to relationships—dating, sex, sensuality, marriage—I suddenly felt as if I were alone on another planet.

I can't really mention these topics to God, I used to think. He'll just say, "Shame on you for thinking about this—just pretend you don't feel that way!" Somehow I was convinced that when it came to human attraction and love, I had a big decision to make—a choice between God and man.

Yet the desire to share my love with someone in a deep, committed way seemed right. And the strong feelings of attraction I felt on various occasions for particular guys seemed very natural. But how could I know which guy, and whether he would feel the same way? There was also the question of physical intimacy. When was it right? What role did it play in a relationship? Could I control it if I began to give in to it? The answers eluded me.

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