RELATIONSHIPS April 28, 2008 Issue

LOVING WITHOUT CONDITIONS

JENNY LOBL

ONE OF MY MOST VIVID girlhood memories is of a time when a friend and I each bought a bag of sweets at the corner shop. My friend said she was going to save some for her sister. When I responded that I wouldn't give any to my brother since he didn't share with me, she said, "I don't think like that."

My friend's attitude was a rebuke to my own. She startled me with her uncomplicated generosity. Although this incident seems tiny, it points to larger life-lessons for me. In the many years since then, I've come to better understand the importance of loving others—regardless of how they might have behaved toward me. Perhaps there is no greater human need than to learn how to express the generosity of spiritually based love—love that holds no resentment and is unconditional.

The Bible story of Balak and Balaam, in the book of Numbers, has taught me something about the importance of expressing unconditional love. Balak, king of Moab, is afraid the Israelites will overrun his country. So he hires Balaam, a heathen seer, to curse the Israelites. Balaam is a soothsayer and does not usually turn to God for guidance. However, on this occasion he is in fact compelled to respond to what God is telling him. He is given this clear message: "Thou shalt not curse the people: for they are blessed" (22:12). Balaam is obedient and says to Balak, "How shall I curse, whom God hath not cursed?" (23:8).