Article May 21, 2007 Issue

THE BENEFIT OF MY DOUBT

BY DAVID PRICE

To be honest, I doubted Christian Science could make a difference in my life. Although I had attended a Christian Science Sunday School in my youth, it had been a long time since I'd practiced the religion or been to church. Newly divorced, dissatisfied with my career, and leading a pretty wild nightlife, I suddenly felt spiritually unfulfilled. And even though I wasn't really looking for healing or a change of heart, I had this overwhelming sense that I needed to be a better man.

I often had to drive by a Christian Science church in my area, and one clear summer Sunday morning, something impelled me to go inside for the service. Afterward, I went home and found an old blue paperback copy of Science and Health. I didn't plan on finishing the book. In fact, I was pretty sure I would quickly find something that would turn me away. But I decided to give it a try.

I made a pact with myself that I wouldn't turn a page until I'd understood each word. If anything, I would at least have a solid argument for my suspicions that Christian Science wouldn't work. But the first passage I came to in Science and Health made me realize I might benefit from my reading: "To those leaning on the sustaining infinite, to-day is big with blessings" (p. vii). I wanted to find out who this "sustaining infinite" was, what "blessings" I could expect, what it meant to "lean"—and would I really begin benefiting today? So I began my reading project with a plan to answer some of those questions, even though I was skeptical and fully prepared to look elsewhere for answers.