PARENTING January 10, 2005 Issue

Because of the personal nature of this week's column, the author has asked to remain anonymous. The facts are true; only the names have been changed.

From one dad to another

Eric

Dear Tom,

I wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed our good talk last summer. I was glad to hear you were able to spend some time with your daughter. I know it was tough when your ex-wife moved away with her after your divorce. When I went through my own divorce a couple of years ago, the though of not being with my children on a daily basis was very disturbing.

I realized I had to get on top of this nagging fear. While my children's mom and I were no longer married, I wasn't divorcing my kids. We would continue to have an important relationship—it would just take a new form. I also realized that one of the most important things I could do for my kids was to take care of myself. This meant giving myself the time to understand how God was fathering and mothering all of us in this new family unit.

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