Suicidal thoughts are gone for good

As far back as my adolescent years I remember making suicidal threats when I was unhappy. No one took it seriously, and I never made any attempt to carry my threats out. But it set a pattern of suicidal thinking that continued into my marriage.

Periodically I was plagued with depression, and at these times I often planned ways to do away with myself that I thought would be painless but effective. Several times I mentioned the wish to die to my husband, but I'm sure he thought I was just being dramatic.

After my third child was born, I began the serious study of Christian Science. I used prayer to heal illness and solve various challenges in the family. Even though I was not contemplating suicide as often by then, it occasionally crept into my thoughts. I knew that one of God's commandments was "Thou shalt not kill" (Ex. 20:13), but somehow I thought that taking one's own life was not as sinful as killing someone else.

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July 1, 2002

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