Article June 25, 2001 ISSUE

My healing of substance abuse

No longer a puppet on a string

By Cara Cusack

The Herald of Christian Science

I HAD BEEN SMOKING on and off since the eighth grade. During my last year of high school, I started drinking excessively. And, shortly after graduation, I started using marijuana and experimenting with hallucinogens.

I'd attended a Christian Science Sunday School while growing up, and I remember I would sometimes go there Sunday mornings after partying the night before. I thought that what I was doing wasn't a big deal, because God loved me no matter what. But what I didn't realize was that, by living this lifestyle, I would cause myself great pain and not live up to my full potential. What I was doing was hindering my growth.

At 18, I moved away from home and left religion behind completely. When I was 19, I hit a point in my life where I felt very unhappy and empty. I had just gotten out of a bad relationship with my boyfriend, and I felt bitter towards my parents. It was during this time that I realized I needed God. I didn't know who I was, what I believed in, or what I wanted. I craved some sort of foundation in my life. What it boiled down to was, as Aaron Tippin sings in "You've Got to Stand for Something," "You've got to be your own man [or, in this case, woman!], not a puppet on a string."

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