Spiritual renewal after divorce

I was divorced in December 1989. I had a lot of anger and bitterness in my heart. I was so full of hate that I actually wanted my former husband dead. I felt, How dare he do that to me! I also felt very hurt. How could anyone want to hurt someone he loved? I had thought he loved me. I was very angry with God as well. I felt I couldn't believe in God anymore. God didn't have any meaning to me. I just plain gave up on God. I didn't care about myself either. I left my church and started doing a lot of wrong things. I started drinking and smoking, plus I was taking a lot of chances that I normally wouldn't have. I thought I could find happiness and love in these things.

I finally realized that I was not getting anywhere the way my life was going. So I started reading the Bible Lessons (found in the Christian Science Quarterly) again. The anger and bitterness finally melted away, and I stopped smoking and drinking. I also went back to church. I felt like the prodigal son in the Bible—I was lost and then was found again (see Luke 15:11–24). I was finally able to forgive myself and my former husband and to go on with my life.

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Testimony of Healing
A boy turns to God in prayer
July 27, 1998
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