Testimony of Healing July 27, 1998 Issue

Spiritual renewal after divorce

Sheila Kauffmann

I was divorced in December 1989. I had a lot of anger and bitterness in my heart. I was so full of hate that I actually wanted my former husband dead. I felt, How dare he do that to me! I also felt very hurt. How could anyone want to hurt someone he loved? I had thought he loved me. I was very angry with God as well. I felt I couldn't believe in God anymore. God didn't have any meaning to me. I just plain gave up on God. I didn't care about myself either. I left my church and started doing a lot of wrong things. I started drinking and smoking, plus I was taking a lot of chances that I normally wouldn't have. I thought I could find happiness and love in these things.

I finally realized that I was not getting anywhere the way my life was going. So I started reading the Bible Lessons (found in the Christian Science Quarterly) again. The anger and bitterness finally melted away, and I stopped smoking and drinking. I also went back to church. I felt like the prodigal son in the Bible—I was lost and then was found again (see Luke 15:11–24). I was finally able to forgive myself and my former husband and to go on with my life.

God is my life and strength. God loves me and takes care of me. I know my real happiness comes from God, not from a human being. I am truly grateful for all the healings and blessings that I have received. I am grateful to God and to Christ Jesus, our Way-shower, and also to Mary Baker Eddy, who discovered and founded Christian Science.

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