Do you think you know what elderly is? A research librarian at our local library—with a touch of humor in her voice—said that one definition of elderly is anyone who is fifteen years older than you. A reference work, Growing Old in America, notes, "Aside from the obvious measure of number of birthdays, people may be labeled old because of their appearance, their physical functioning, their mental capacity, or their lifestyle." ^{Growing Old in America, Cornelia Blair, Nancy R. Jacobs, Jacquelyn F. Quiram, eds. (Wylie, Texas: Information Plus, 1996), P. 2 .}

Commenting on the custom of paying old age benefits starting at age sixty-five, the book continues, "The number 65 was not selected by any scientific process. ... In [1899], Germany became the first Western government to assume financial support of its older citizens by passing the Old Age and Survivors Pension Act. Chancellor von Bismark arbitrarily decided that eligibility for benefits would begin at age 65 (although he himself was an active and vigorous 74 years old at the time)." ^Ibid.

An arbitrary decision. How's that for scientific. Well, regardless of how old age is defined or described, the fact is more and more people are living longer than ever before.

But must advancing years bring with them greater health problems and greater burdens for families and governments? The Bible gives a more positive picture of the possibilities of advancing age. It tells us that "Moses was an hundred and twenty years old when he died: his eye was not dim, nor his natural force abated" (Deut. 34:7). And Christ Jesus said, "Whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die" (John 11:26).

The woman who discovered Christian Science explains how anyone can expect to see more of the strength and usefulness in life promised in the Bible: "Except for the error of measuring and limiting all that is good and beautiful, man would enjoy more than threescore years and ten and still maintain his vigor, freshness, and promise. Man, governed by immortal Mind, is always beautiful and grand. Each succeeding year unfolds wisdom, beauty, and holiness" (Science and Health, p. 246). And she proved her own words, founding a daily newspaper, The Christian Science Monitor, in her eighty-eighth year and working actively for the world until her passing in her ninetieth year.

Jesus didn't judge a man by how many years he had accumulated, nor did he teach that man must become frail, sick, or disabled. He also didn't ignore those in need. He taught that we should care for each other deeply. He said: "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another" (John 13:34, 35). He lived this love when, from the cross, he made sure his mother would be cared for by entrusting her to his disciple John. From that time on, John took Jesus' mother into his own home (see John 19:25–27).

We need to love as Jesus did because God is Love, and we are His children. God's love is endless and without limits. Not to love others as God loves us can make us feel deprived of His help, thought in fact we can never be separated from God, who is infinite and all-powerful Love. He never forsakes us. We need only turn to Him wholly and without reservation to feel the comfort and support of His infinite compassion.

Not long ago, friends of mine learned this lesson. When the wife's father found he could no longer live alone, he came to live with her and her husband. Then, the wife found herself baby-sitting her grandson as well as caring for her father. It lightened her load some when her husband retired from his work and began helping her, but the load for both of them was heavy. And of course, their other responsibilities didn't stop. They still served in their church and on the boards of some nonprofit organizations. They had joined what is popularly called the sandwich generation, the generation caught caring for both grandchildren and parents.

It wasn't easy. During the six years her father lived with them before he passed on, he became critical of things she and especially her husband did or didn't do. And though the father maintained relatively good health into his tenth decade, he needed considerable assistance during the latter years of his stay. Their love for God, as well as for their grandson and her father, carried them through this time.

Their understanding that her father was in reality a loving child of God helped take any hurt out of his criticism. They could see that cutting remarks were not natural to him as the reflection of divine Love, Mind, and that therefore these hurtful opinions were not his actual thought. They saw his many kind and generous acts as proof of his real God-given nature, and it was the good he expressed that they thought of most. Their understanding that her father's true nature was God-centered and not self-centered relieved them of much of the feeling of burden that they had felt in caring for him.

Looking back on this time, the wife sees that their experience actually proved the truth of this statement from Science and Health: "What we most need is the prayer of fervent desire for growth in grace, expressed in patience, meekness, love, and good deeds" (p. 4). Though they didn't think about it at the time, their struggles to love more actually grew out of a "fervent desire for growth in grace." And as they grew in grace and love, they found themselves expressing greater "patience, meekness, love, and good deeds."

Not only that—other family members reflected these same qualities back to them. They now have a great deal of gratitude for the hard-earned lessons of love that they gained during those years.

That is what they remember most. They have no regrets over the sacrifices they made to take care of her father.

The sandwich generation need not feel sandwiched when it remembers to love in the way this family learned to love. Theirs was an unselfish love brought about by their earnest desire to be obedient to Jesus' command that we love one another. Feeling burdened is never God's will for us. His will is for harmony. Those we are caring for are, in reality, children of God, expressing all the good that God is. Understanding these truths brings harmony to any situation. Growth in grace is natural for all of us, at any age.