Article October 16, 1995 Issue

Honoring the true essence of marriage

Paulette J. Watkins

A Divorced acquaintance recently said to me when she found out I was married, "Oh, I don't have the problem of having to please someone else; I just have to please God." Another comment shared with my daughter was that with growing freedom in lifestyles, the institution of marriage would soon no longer be needed. These comments caused me to think more deeply about marriage, and about that on which it is based. It seemed to me that it is of utmost importance that we hold guard over the true essence of marriage—the selfless, God-derived love that is the foundation of a strong marriage.

Marriage and family are institutions supportive of spiritual growth. They are proving grounds for giving up self-centeredness and discovering the selfless love that belongs to each one's true, spiritual nature. This kind of selflessness, which certainly can be learned outside of marriage as well, blesses everyone.

In Romans, Paul writes, "Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law" (13:8). We fulfill this law of love as we consistently see our family members as Christ Jesus saw man, in their complete, perfect nature. If false traits are expressed, our duty is not to attach them to loved ones, not to dwell on them, and not to react to them. Our job is to cherish the real man, made in God's image and likeness, who necessarily includes every Godlike quality. Practicing this rule brings unselfishness, love, and harmony to a family—and beyond.

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