Over a year ago something happened to help me understand...

Over a year ago something happened to help me understand that the true healing of disease takes place entirely in thought. I had started studying the weekly Christian Science Bible Lessons more earnestly than in the past, and found that as a result my thought seemed clearer and less troubled by day-to-day events. I could say I was seeing proof that "the purification of sense and self is a proof of progress" (Science and Health, p. 324).

One day I noticed a small growth on my thumb. It appeared to be draining, and was not painful. I covered the thumb with a bandage and fully expected there to be a complete healing, as I had been studying and praying to make my thoughts more pure and spiritual. I pondered the statement "A spiritual idea has not a single element of error, and this truth removes properly whatever is offensive" (Science and Health, p. 463). The growth did not completely disappear, however, and the thumb was becoming discolored, swollen, and painful. I began to be fearful, and called a Christian Science practitioner to help me in prayer.

Instead of focusing on the thumb, she asked me to search my thinking to correct any incorrect concept I might have about my identity as a child of God. As I prayed, I remembered two activities in which I was to take part during the coming weeks. I had been feeling unsure about my ability to fulfill my role in one of them, while I had been feeling rather proud of my abilities in regard to the other. I realized both of these feelings were inappropriate, and involved a view of myself as mortal, with a mind separate from God. I knew I needed to see Him as the only Ego, and to replace thoughts of either inferiority or superiority with humility and a sincere desire to express and glorify Him. I needed to follow the example of Jesus, who said, "I can of mine own self do nothing" (John 5:30).

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January 31, 1994

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