Testimony of Healing March 30, 1992 Issue

The first semester of my junior year in college was extremely...

Sharon Cramer with contributions from Katherine M. Cramer

The first semester of my junior year in college was extremely difficult. I was terrorized by fear. At times I was acutely afraid of certain diseases, and at others times afraid of doing anything on my own. The thought of death was often on my mind, and nothing anybody said seemed to help. It was as though I were living in a nightmare.

Although I studied the Bible and Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy, doubts repeatedly nearly overwhelmed me and I felt no joy. After a while I started to feel unworthy even to read the Bible Lessons from the Christian Science Quarterly.

There were a few moments of comfort when I talked about God and man as His likeness with different practitioners I worked with during this time. Yet I could not seem to feel in any sustained way the truth of the ideas that were shared. As time went on, I began to feel guilty for not being strong enough to resist these debilitating fears. Finally, I became so fearful and irrational that I was reluctant even to step outside the apartment where I lived near school. (I was living alone and not taking classes at the time, so no one at school was aware of how extremely fearful I had become.)

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