Article February 19, 1990 Issue

Love: fantasy or reality?

The Christian Science Monitor

When we call it "romantic fantasy," it all sounds harmless and at the same time delightfully real. But actually, it is neither. For many, preoccupation with fantasy has crept out of the rose-latticed gardens of Victorian novels, past the Hollywood cameras, and into the center of their lives.

How are we influenced by the growing acceptance of sensualism as normal, and even therapeutic? Has emotional and physical intensity actually become our measure for what love is?

The deeper issue concerns our understanding of what is real and substantial. Is reality essentially physical, sensual? Is it strictly of the flesh? Or are the things of Spirit the basic reality, the enduring substance of existence? Is life so drab and uneventful that we must escape through fantasy? Or, is our own daily living just not spiritually real enough? And if our present relationship disappoints us, will getting a new one, a more "fantastic" one, really satisfy our deep inner needs?

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