Although I attended a Christian Science Sunday School as a young child, I left this teaching at a very early age. At fourteen I was married. By the age of twenty-one I was using drugs. Our daughter was then six and had attended several schools because we were constantly on the move. I began to realize that this was not the proper atmosphere in which to bring up a child. Although I hadn't made use of my religion as a general rule, in times of stress (and there were many) I would try to remember and apply different truths learned in Sunday School.

I became very disenchanted with life, as it seemed to hold nothing for me. Continual marital problems, alcohol, drugs, and lack made me absolutely miserable. I desired good but didn't know what good was. I did know, however, it could be found in Christian Science.

One evening when I was no longer living with my husband because of his excessive drinking, I lay on a bed in a motel room with a bottle of sleeping pills in my hand. I had taken several pills and was considering taking the whole bottle. The realization that it would be unfair to leave my daughter and parents stopped me from doing so. I also understood that I could not actually escape life's problems, that even if I did away with myself, I would still have to master the problem of being. It became clear to me what I must do—what I really wanted to do.

I went home to my parents where my daughter had been staying and there began a thorough study of the Bible and the Christian Science textbook, Science and Health by Mrs. Eddy. Slowly I yielded human will to God's will, and things began to fall into place. I was able to give up the use of alcohol and drugs, and my daughter and I began a new life together.

About six years later I began to experience feelings of lack and frustration again. Mrs. Eddy writes in Science and Health (p. 449), "A grain of Christian Science does wonders for mortals, so omnipotent is Truth, but more of Christian Science must be gained in order to continue in well doing." I recognized that I had to dispense with smoking, as it was hindering my progress. Also, I knew I must break off an unwise relationship of long duration with a man who never followed through with marriage, although this was the original plan. Yet I seemed unable to make the break.

At that time I learned my mother had been advised by a doctor that she would need an operation to remove a tumor. This news made me very sorrowful and unhappy. My desire was to join the Church of Christ, Scientist, but I felt hampered at every turn. Finally one afternoon I vowed never to smoke again and threw my cigarettes in the trash. Early the following morning I was wakened by sharp earthquake tremors. The violent jarring outside corresponded with my inner feelings; I felt I had put off some of the old man (see Eph. 4:22). Soon I applied for membership in a branch church and was accepted. I also joined The Mother Church.

The unwise relationship with the man was dissolved naturally, and I later married a man who fulfilled many of my ideals about true manhood. Shortly after this marriage I had Christian Science class instruction.

Living in the same location for the past eight years has been enjoyable. My proper place has been demonstrated through drawing closer to God. Looking back I see that my falling away from Christian Science began when I took up smoking; when I released the habit, the problems attached to it dropped away accordingly. They were all tied together. The healing of smoking has been permanent.

My mother decided to rely entirely on Christian Science treatment, and she was healed of the tumor. Her testimony sharing this healing has been published in the Sentinel.

My other healings include those of an inability to digest food normally, bleeding from the bowels, and a painful condition of the leg. These statements from Unity of Good by our Leader, Mrs. Eddy, led me to the healings of the last two difficulties: "'Great is the mystery of godliness,' says Paul; and mystery involves the unknown. No stubborn purpose to force conclusions on this subject will unfold in us a higher sense of Deity; neither will it promote the Cause of Truth or enlighten the individual thought" (p. 5). And (pp. 4-5): "Nevertheless, at the present crude hour, no wise men or women will rudely or prematurely agitate a theme involving the All of infinity.

"Rather will they rejoice in the small understanding they have already gained of the wholeness of Deity, and work gradually and gently up toward the perfect thought divine." I had been attempting to force myself to be more spiritual instead of allowing God to reveal my true selfhood gently and in His own way.

I am convinced that many physical and mental problems have been prevented from taking root as I've guarded my mental door against accepting the errors of mortal belief, which Christian Science terms "aggressive mental suggestions." There have been many proofs of God's love and protective care for His children. I thank God for church membership, for my supportive family, and for my dear, dear friends. In Retrospection and Introspection Mrs. Eddy tells us (p. 80), "There are no greater miracles known to earth than perfection and an unbroken friendship."

DONNA MAE BERNEMAN
Burbank, California

I am happy to verify my daughter Donna's testimony and to join in her gratitude for all Christian Science has done for her and for our whole family. We've had many healings and evidences of God's care. His love guides us in every aspect of our lives. The rewards of growth Spiritward far outweigh the trials!

LAURA M. FOLDEN
Kingston, Idaho