Although I attended a Christian Science Sunday School as a...

Although I attended a Christian Science Sunday School as a young child, I left this teaching at a very early age. At fourteen I was married. By the age of twenty-one I was using drugs. Our daughter was then six and had attended several schools because we were constantly on the move. I began to realize that this was not the proper atmosphere in which to bring up a child. Although I hadn't made use of my religion as a general rule, in times of stress (and there were many) I would try to remember and apply different truths learned in Sunday School.

I became very disenchanted with life, as it seemed to hold nothing for me. Continual marital problems, alcohol, drugs, and lack made me absolutely miserable. I desired good but didn't know what good was. I did know, however, it could be found in Christian Science.

One evening when I was no longer living with my husband because of his excessive drinking, I lay on a bed in a motel room with a bottle of sleeping pills in my hand. I had taken several pills and was considering taking the whole bottle. The realization that it would be unfair to leave my daughter and parents stopped me from doing so. I also understood that I could not actually escape life's problems, that even if I did away with myself, I would still have to master the problem of being. It became clear to me what I must do—what I really wanted to do.

October 19, 1981

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