In Philippians, St. Paul writes (1:21): "For to me to live is...

Lancelot Joseph Newman

In Philippians, St. Paul writes (1:21): "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." To me, this verse used to have a personal meaning, since before I understood Christian Science I held a very personal and material sense of Christ and of the Christian religious teaching. My understanding of this verse was very literal. The spiritual meaning was beyond me, and I never understood my real selfhood.

During my war service I was introduced to Christian Science. I could not understand it, and I ridiculed it. In later years, when sickness, problems, and responsibilities seemed insurmountable, I looked to death to release me from the hardship of living. In 1964, when I suffered a coronary thrombosis, it appeared that this release was about to be realized. After about four months of medical treatment I was back at work, but it was not long before the trouble returned with greater severity. On consulting the medical profession I was told that nothing could be done and that I had to learn to live with the trouble. I then realized that the only solution would be divine healing.

I studied various religions, among them Christian Science, looking for my healing and in search of a satisfying understanding of God. In the textbook of Christian Science, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy, I found the definition of God on page 587: "God. The great I am; the all-knowing, all-seeing, all-acting, all-wise, all-loving, and eternal; Principle; Mind; Soul; Spirit; Life; Truth; Love; all substance; intelligence." I immediately accepted this as true, but I was slow to accept the fact that evil is unreal, as this religion teaches. However, after very careful study of the Christian Science textbook, which I read through again and again, drinking in the deep drafts of spiritual truths it contains, I began to understand these truths.

This study was aided by the unbiased thought and freedom from criticism I had gained. I learned the true meaning of Christ (Science and Health, p. 332): "Christ is the true idea voicing good, the divine message from God to men speaking to the human consciousness." I also learned that my true selfhood is spiritual, not material. Man is made in God's image and likeness. "This conviction shuts the door on death, and opens it wide towards immortality" (ibid., p. 90), Mrs. Eddy writes.

The verse in Philippians now took on a different meaning and gave me a fresh vision of Life, dispelling my outlook of death. The realization of this came to me when I was being interviewed for Christian Science class instruction. My teacher, knowing nothing of my complaint, pointed out that heart is not material or emotional but one's innermost thoughts. Reflecting on this on my way home, I realized that only by filling my mind with spiritual truths could I put my innermost thoughts right. My healing was thus made complete.

Lancelot Joseph Newman
Wilpshire, Blackburn, Lancashire, England

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