In Philippians, St. Paul writes (1:21): "For to me to live is...

In Philippians, St. Paul writes (1:21): "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." To me, this verse used to have a personal meaning, since before I understood Christian Science I held a very personal and material sense of Christ and of the Christian religious teaching. My understanding of this verse was very literal. The spiritual meaning was beyond me, and I never understood my real selfhood.

During my war service I was introduced to Christian Science. I could not understand it, and I ridiculed it. In later years, when sickness, problems, and responsibilities seemed insurmountable, I looked to death to release me from the hardship of living. In 1964, when I suffered a coronary thrombosis, it appeared that this release was about to be realized. After about four months of medical treatment I was back at work, but it was not long before the trouble returned with greater severity. On consulting the medical profession I was told that nothing could be done and that I had to learn to live with the trouble. I then realized that the only solution would be divine healing.

I studied various religions, among them Christian Science, looking for my healing and in search of a satisfying understanding of God. In the textbook of Christian Science, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy, I found the definition of God on page 587: "God. The great I am; the all-knowing, all-seeing, all-acting, all-wise, all-loving, and eternal; Principle; Mind; Soul; Spirit; Life; Truth; Love; all substance; intelligence." I immediately accepted this as true, but I was slow to accept the fact that evil is unreal, as this religion teaches. However, after very careful study of the Christian Science textbook, which I read through again and again, drinking in the deep drafts of spiritual truths it contains, I began to understand these truths.

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