Testimony of Healing February 12, 1916 Issue

When Christian Science found me, I was a depressed and...

Aurilla H. Allyn

When Christian Science found me, I was a depressed and depressing invalid, spending my time largely in bed or on the couch, and leading a life of mental and physical suffering. I know now that resentment within myself not only caused a large part of my illness, but also unfitted me to cope with the problems at hand. In the terrible mental depression in which I then lived the thought of death as "surcease from sorrow" often appealed to me almost attractively, for life seemed to have become only a mockery. Several good physicians advised an operation, saying that I would never be a well woman without one. Change of scene did some good, and osteopathy seemed to help for a time, the latter being undertaken especially for a supposed curvature of the spine and sciatic rheumatism. At this time also stomach disorder developed, so that all food distressed me. As I look back upon those years of invalidism, I can see what heavy burdens my thoughts of self laid upon the dear ones who worked so hard to help me into health and happiness, and certainly my life was as much a burden to those around me as to myself.

Even the casual thought or mention of those years now is followed immediately and eagerly with the thought, deep with thankfulness and gratitude, of the "cup of cold water" that was finally offered to me, almost in fear and trembling, by a dear friend. This friend was an osteopathic physician who had labored long and earnestly to restore me to health, and who was loving enough to see finally that "a sick body is evolved from sick thoughts" (Science and Health, p. 260). I believed then, as do many people before investigating it, that Christian Science was something a little bit "queer," and felt the necessity for apologizing to my friends for becoming interested in it. Also, my mental attitude was one of condescension.

However, by the time I had taken a few treatments and had read even a little in Science and Health my attitude changed. I well remember gleaning through the pages of the book, during those few days, for sentences or parts of sentences whose meaning I could grasp, and I realized that there had come into my life what I could express then only in the rather crude words, "the discovery of a gold mine." This feeling of the rich store that Christian Science is, its unlimited joy and love and peace and abundance, has never left me, though my steps at first seemed slow and my healing gradual; but during the ten years that I have endeavored to follow Truth's guidance I have experienced some heavy sorrows and have had many difficult problems to meet. Through its teachings I am learning to trust God entirely, to take every problem to divine Love. Daily and hourly I am thankful to God for the one law of good which surrounds and supports us, and it is my endeavor to make my life express the gratitude I feel.

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