I wish to express my gratitude for the slight knowledge...

I wish to express my gratitude for the slight knowledge I have of Christian Science, for only through its teaching am I in my "right mind." For years I was troubled with sleeplessness, was a nervous wreck, hungering and searching after the comfort and understanding which I felt should be found in the Bible. Later on I became rebellious at seeing so much sorrow and ill-health in my pastor, myself, and others in the churches. I felt that if my pastor could not find God, trying as I knew he did, it was useless for me to strive any longer. I turned from the Bible because of its seeming inconsistencies, while it always pained me to do so. I studied hypnotism, etc., but found no remedy for the aching void. I then found one who claimed to believe in and practise healing as taught by Jesus, and members of my family were seemingly cured, but none of these cures were lasting. All of the cases, however, were reached later in Christian Science. For some time I was not myself, being like one in a dream. I lost my appetite and suddenly my mind gave way; my condition was spasmodic, at times being apparently in my right mind, then suddenly entirely unaccountable. I will also state that while mentally unbalanced I was attended by the best mental and medical experts in Los Angeles and Pasadena, Cal. One physician suggested that certain internal organs be removed, as they were plainly the cause of the sudden attacks of mental derangement, but no operation was ever permitted.

Recovering somewhat, board was procured for me in what proved to be a Christian Science family in Pasadena, Cal., and again I was told, this time with positive assurance, that God is an ever-present help, and that God had not given me "the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind," and it was impressed upon me that a tree should be known by its fruit. Hoping, yet fearing, hardly daring to place confidence in religion again lest I find it lacking, I pored over Science and Health and some tracts in secret, being opposed by my husband, he fearing it to be a new "ism" to be shunned. The Scripture, "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you," was certainly very plain in my case, for I never doubted, even though I did not understand. Four months later, on returning to Los Angeles, I tried to be honest by telling my former friends plainly that I had taken up the study of Christian Science, and that I firmly believed in the spiritual healing as taught in Science and Health. I used often to ponder over the words of the hymn,

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Testimony of Healing
With a heart full of gratitude I am pleased to testify to...
October 12, 1907

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