It is never easy when a spouse passes on, especially when the holidays come around, bringing to thought many wonderful memories of happy times.

When my husband, Ralph, passed on, I missed him terribly, and still do. We had so much fun together and enjoyed our marriage tremendously.

Starting over without him didn’t come easily. I was grateful I had Christian Science to help me through the tearful moments and the numerous decisions that had to be made.

Ralph was a Christian Scientist for many years, as I have been, and through our study of Christian Science, we recognized together there is a continuity to life that death does not touch.

Mrs. Eddy wrote in Science and Health, “Spirit is the life, substance, and continuity of all things.” She also pointed out, “Spirit diversifies, classifies, and individualizes all thoughts, which are as eternal as the Mind conceiving them; but the intelligence, existence, and continuity of all individuality remain in God, who is the divinely creative Principle thereof.”

What was true about continuity for Ralph was true for me, too. I didn’t have to feel I didn’t want to go to church or attend other activities. If I accepted despondency as being real, I was not accepting the continuity of God’s goodness and love for me, as well as for Ralph.

Continuity also means God’s Love never changes. As Mrs. Eddy wrote, “To infinite ever-present love, all is Love ….” Because God is Love, our prayers can affirm our inseparability from Him as His spiritual ideas. We are His creation, loved, loving and lovable. This is true about every one of God’s ideas—all of us.

Mrs. Eddy’s poem “Christ My Refuge” (Christian Science Hymnal, No. 253) was one of many sources that provided solid spiritual direction. The last verse reads:

    My prayer, some daily good to do
           To Thine, for Thee:
    An offering pure of Love
           Whereto God leadeth me.

“Whereto God leadeth me” took an interesting path. Even though I could no longer feel the touch of my loved one, I could affirm that the warmth of ever-present Love is always right here, right now, meeting my needs—and it did, in numerous ways.

One was that a couple of family members needed my touch, my love and attention, which I was able to provide. So instead of feeling a sense of loss, I was able to provide comfort to others that I thought I needed.

Another prayer of affirmation was to know that, as God’s idea, I am always obedient to His direction, serving my useful purpose; not only in one instance as above, but in every instance. This verse from Psalm 90 was very reassuring: “Lord, thou hast been our dwelling place in all generations.”

I affirmed that I am always dwelling in my right place—dwelling in God, in divine Life, Truth, Love.

When we allow these attributes to be our dwelling place in thought, we are allowing God’s goodness to take over and guide us rightly to what appears humanly as our right place and our right sense of usefulness.

The understanding I gained from this study guided me to a way to continue living in the home I had shared with my husband, the place I felt was right for me. For that, I’m really grateful.

Handling finances and providing myself with adequate income was another challenge I had to face. Jesus’ reassuring statement in John’s Gospel gave me confidence: “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”

I recalled many experiences I'd had in the past, in which God amply supplied my needs. I learned of God’s abundance when I found sources for a profusion of flowers—all free—that I used in the floral arrangements I made for church services every week.

I saw how the mango and orange trees on my property produced enough fruit, and then some, for sharing with neighbors. How could I doubt that God was providing abundantly for me? I couldn’t, and didn’t.

The financial challenge was resolved, and by being attentive, I find I can manage very nicely now. New career activities and avenues of usefulness have also opened up for me.

As I began to understand that feeling isolated or alone is no part of God’s plan for any of us, I became free of the desire to stay at home and mope. So much loneliness comes from a personal sense of things, from a “poor me” attitude, and the feeling that life is impossible without the loved one.

But a “poor me” attitude has no place in the realm of God’s goodness. It is a mistaken view of life that would make us believe that the only way to experience God’s love is through one human being.

Sometimes, friends fail to see that even though a spouse may be gone, the individual who remains still has much to offer. For example, married friends often hesitate to invite single folks, whose spouse has passed away, to dinner or to other social events.

When this began to happen to me, I found an inspired solution: I invited them over to my house for dinner and social activities. It quickly broke down the feeling of separation. Pretty soon my friends responded with invitations, too.

This new understanding brought about many happy thoughts. I decided to take piano lessons—something I had always wanted to do. I resumed walking and swimming in the early mornings. I joined a writing group. Through these activities, I've made new friends who are fun to be with.

This is the outcome of recognizing spiritual identity as the reality. Each of us is really complete as the spiritual idea of our Father-Mother God. This spiritual completeness and oneness with God is ours forever. Even though this completeness could humanly appear as new friends, or a special person in our lives, it does not depend on any person—neither the one who has departed nor anyone we have met or may yet meet.

This truth is provable here and now. How it appears in our lives may be unique to our experience, but God’s loving plan always provides for our happiness, joy and satisfaction. I know, because I’ve seen His love at work in my own life.

Eternal life:

Science and Health
124:25-26 (to .)
567:7-8
513:17

King James Bible
Ps. 90:1
John 3:14-16
John 10:10