Keeping the faith
The timeless Christ, voicing God’s reassuring message of love, was speaking to me, shining through the dark.
“How’s your faith?” my husband asked me. “I don’t know,” I replied with a heavy sigh. It had been one blow after another, and I felt physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted.
I’ve often found comfort and strength during challenging times from prayer, but this time was different. I couldn’t shake the feeling of injustice. Evil is never just or righteous. But the harshness of my circumstances, which had brought deep sorrow, felt especially tragic and unfair. I think I felt that God didn’t deserve my attention or faith, not in the midst of my pain.
Though I was drawn to prayer, I felt numb at the same time. I would sit down to study the weekly Christian Science Quarterly Bible Lesson, or even just the books which contain it, the Bible and Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy. I’d set them next to me . . . and leave them there. I wanted comfort and healing, and had always found it in these resources before, but it felt as if something was repelling me from them this time. That feeling scared me almost more than the despair that I was experiencing.
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