Why alcohol is no longer my go-to
Instead of depriving myself of something, I found permanent healing because I was gaining so much freedom to be myself.
In my twenties, I moved to a new town that felt as if it had a crowded bar on every street corner. It wasn’t long before I found myself caught up in social drinking for special occasions. And just about anything qualified as one of these “special” occasions.
I thought drinking brought me excitement and companionship and made me a more fun person. That’s what I told myself, anyway. And social drinking seemed harmless enough on the surface—but I soon discovered it to be a double-edged sword. The fact is, most of the drinking-related friendships I’d established were rather shallow, and the more I indulged in drinking, the more insecure and depressed I became. Momentary gratification was usually followed by a downward spiral. And I was barely able to clear my head before the next “special occasion” came around.
My roommate and I had the same days off and would often binge drink together. This habit went on for several years and, consequently, my insecurity and anxiety grew.
Enjoy 1 free Sentinel article or audio program each month, including content from 1898 to today.
