How God led me to healing
Originally appeared online in the teen series Your Healings - September 3, 2025.
From the time I was a little girl, I’d been searching for something to bring me peace and a sense of purpose in my life.
Though I had been raised in a Christian household, I still felt far away from God. I was an only child and struggled to fit in with the other kids at school. I was also very sick for most of my childhood, and nothing brought healing.
During my early years of high school, I fell into a deep depression and suffered from severe anxiety. Thoughts like “You’re not good enough,” and “You’re meant to be alone” circled in my mind every day. It got to the point where I wasn’t sure if I wanted to keep living. I was questioning everything: my existence, my purpose, and God.
I was questioning everything: my existence, my purpose, and God.
Just when I felt I had reached a breaking point, a thought came to me that was more spiritual than what I was feeling at the time. And somehow I knew that this thought had to have come from God. It was, “I need you to keep going.” So I decided to do that.
As I entered my junior year, I had the opportunity to attend a school that had originally been started for Christian Scientists. This school was near my home, and I decided to try it out—and was welcomed into this community with open arms.
I also met the person who became a mentor to me and is now a Christian Science practitioner—someone you can ask to pray for you when you need healing. She shared an important idea with me at a time when there was a lot of discussion about contagion. She told me that when we believe that any kind of sickness or spread of disease has more power than God, we are breaking the First Commandment, “Thou shalt have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3).
Although this may seem like an unusual comment, it somehow made sense to me spiritually. I realized that this idea could be applied not only to contagious diseases but also to other things in my life that I had been wrestling with—depression, anxiety, sickness, and feeling alone. I realized that I didn’t want to believe that there was anything more powerful than God. It didn’t feel right for me to think that evil could be prevalent in my life and dictate how I live.
I began to dig deeper into Christian Science, reaching out to people in my school community to help me better my understanding. One lady I talked with gave me a copy of the Bible and of Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy, the Discoverer and Founder of Christian Science. Something I valued as I studied Science and Health was the way healing is emphasized, since that was something that had been missing in my life growing up. The idea of God being divine Love helped me realize that Love itself is the key to healing.
I was eager to take in everything I was learning, but I was still struggling to apply it directly and consistently in my life. Although I had support, my family had reservations about my study of Christian Science because they had never heard of it before and were professionals in the medical field.
On top of that, I wrestled with completely letting go of material means of comfort and relief, which were all I had known growing up. This included taking medication for my illnesses, caving to peer pressure, and looking to relationships with guys to feel loved. I wanted to let go of these things because I believed it was essential to growing spiritually and deepening my relationship with God.
As I continued working with a practitioner, praying, and studying Science and Health and Mrs. Eddy’s other writings over several more years, I realized that the reality is that God is my everything. He is all I need to be happy, healthy, peaceful, and loved. One of my favorite ideas that I prayed with is, “When we realize that Life is Spirit, never in nor of matter, this understanding will expand into self-completeness, finding all in God, good, and needing no other consciousness” (Science and Health, p. 264).
Even in the moments when I felt most alone, God was guiding me every step of the way and leading me to Christian Science so that I could experience true healing.
Once I finally understood that God, Love, is the source of all good, I was healed of the sicknesses that I’d had as a child, including depression and anxiety; I learned to love myself the way God created me; and I started looking for healthy and fruitful relationships with others.
Also, because I chose to stand firm in my study of Christian Science, I eventually gained the support of my parents and even inspired my mom, who started reading Mrs. Eddy’s writings and having healings, too.
While my journey of learning more about my relation to God and practicing Christian Science has been challenging, it has also been worthwhile. I know now that even when I felt far away from God as a child, He was always with me. Even in the moments when I felt most alone, God was guiding me every step of the way and leading me to Christian Science so I could experience true healing.
I know now that I am His beloved daughter and that His love will always be with me wherever I go.
