Article July 9, 2012 Issue

Ugh...Facebook comparisons

Jenny Sawyer

TMC Youth's website, time4thinkers.com, recently featured this article as a blog.

Deep down, where I didn’t want to admit it, a little part of me felt hurt. I’d posted some big news on Facebook, but the “likes” and comments weren’t piling up the way I’d expected them to. Weren’t people excited for me? Didn’t they care? The rational side of me told me I was being petty and silly, but still, I couldn’t help logging on again and again—each time hoping I’d have new notifications of my friends’ validation.

I’m not alone. Other friends have told me that they’ve felt a weird sort of competitiveness when it comes to Facebook. Who gets the most likes on their profile picture? Why is it that their announcement of a new job, or a great internship, or a sports team win only gets X number of likes, while another person’s gets XX? The fickleness and randomness of Facebook validation is as enticing as it is dangerous:

Every post offers us new opportunities to believe that we don’t measure up. Or that the people we’re looking to for confirmation of our worth aren’t there to give it to us—at least, not this time.

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