How can a loss be a gain?
First appeared as a web original on November 14, 2011
For years I really felt it was more of a prayer for a mother or parent who played the role of both mother and father. I guess it could be, but I began to doubt its meaning could be so narrow. Recently I rediscovered this hymn in a whole new light, especially the line: “No ill,—since God is good, and loss is gain.” I learned that my supply was always being met, even when I felt it was being taken away.
I had planned some house repairs for years, but never had the finances in place to complete them. I could not really see how I was going to get them done, but I carefully planned the expenses and finally had a budget to complete some key fixes. All was going well until I reached home one morning, after a glorious day of photography, to discover the house was flooding! This was due to a water main that had burst in the bricks-and-mortar type walls. It would have to be replaced. I eventually discovered that all of the pipes in the walls had to be replaced. This was certainly an unplanned expense.
The contractor I had hired for the renovations was soon contacted, and he brought on some subcontractors. That’s when the repairs and renovations all went awry. I became very dissatisfied with the progress, cost, and quality of the work as much of it took well over six months and still was not completed. The contractor had taken on additional work elsewhere, which caused further delays. I had to move on and let the contractor go, but in the process I had to write off the money I had paid out for services not properly, if at all, received. Financially, I really could not see the light.
That’s when I remembered Mrs. Eddy’s poem “Mother’s Evening Prayer” and the thought of “loss is gain” stayed with me like a loving friend beckoning for attention. The third verse reads:
O make me glad for every scalding tear,
For hope deferred, ingratitude, disdain!
Wait, and love more for every hate, and fear
No ill,—since God is good, and loss is gain.
How could loss be gain, I thought? I had lost precious time and money, two commodities that one cannot just recreate. My whole approach had to change, and some fear set in. I spent much time praying over the situation, and the thought came to me to manage the project myself.
I felt I lacked the experience and knowledge to manage a project of this scale when two other lines from “Mother’s Evening Prayer” also came to thought: “Thou Love that guards the nestling’s faltering flight! / Keep Thou my child on upward wing tonight.” For me, the “night” was the fear that I lacked the knowledge to manage the project. This dissipated as I further understood God as Mind, as knowing all, seeing all, and having made all. Furthermore, as God’s son, I had access to my Father-Mother’s infinite knowledge. What more could a child ask for?
Financially, I really could not see the light....I had to let go of the financial forecast and embrace a trust of God.
As vendors joined the project I was now managing, the overall cost became daunting. I had voiced my concern to one or two friends who simply responded by saying that I had lived in my house for over ten years, “So why renovate now?” But that loving thought of “loss is gain” immediately comforted me, reminding me to look beyond money as the source of funding for the project, and to know that God has limitless resources and is the source of supply—not my bank account. I pressed on with the project.
I negotiated agreements with each person, which included pricing. And while the pricing overall was much more competitive than the previous contractor, the scale of the renovations grew and money grew tighter. Frustration and blame toward the previous contractor crept in, but each time I would get upset, “loss is gain” would fill my thoughts and I would let go. I remembered the woman in Second Kings who had more oil than she could physically see. She needed renewed spiritual thinking (see II Kings 4:1–7). I, too, had to rethink my situation spiritually.
As time progressed and as the expenses grew, I pondered whether I should stop everything. But I turned to God with an understanding trust that my needs were already met; I just needed to see the supply. That day, an e-mail came in from a client whom I worked with over a year before as a freelance photographer. I had not been able to collect my fees. This client requested a meeting with me to review my work and asked that I generate a statement of money owed in order for things to be fully settled. Within a week, another client decided to pay me. They hadn’t paid for over a year because of financial difficulties. In the latter case, I had actually forgotten about this assignment, so the check was unexpected. These two clients just about covered the expenses. A few other outstanding debts to me were settled, and I found myself achieving all of my plans, and more.
The true gain, however, was not financial. The independent contractors came with a deep love of what they do. They integrated well with each other, and I felt so much love and protection as they went about their daily tasks. Some just willingly cut prices without my asking, and in some cases I actually raised a few because I felt they were doing a disservice to themselves.
And there was more.
Everyone saw the love of photography I had, and they all pitched in ideas and thoughts of things I ought to photograph. When the contractors were leaving, many of them turned to me and said they would miss working at my house because they felt cared for and at peace. For me, the true gain was more than financial projections, a completed project, cost savings, and ideas for photography. The gain was fully spiritual.
I had to let go of the financial forecast and embrace a trust of God that meant walking a long dusty road of fear and doubt that dissipated with each step. As I let go of the material, I embraced more of the spiritual—a substance that never depreciates, can never be stolen or lost. Letting go of the material brings us closer to a fuller understanding of our spiritual individuality, our identity, and the fact that our heavenly Father-Mother God’s love for us is forever and eternally sure.
I am now fully engaged at church and at home with various building improvement projects, leveraging my newly acquired skills. In addition to all of those “gains,” I have learned to make my own picture frames, and I’m finally able to hang a lot of artwork. So the decorating is coming together, too.
Loss does result in spiritual gain when we wait patiently on God.
