Article October 3, 2011 Issue

Freed from depression

A single mom works her way out of a pattern of darkness by sticking close to God day by day.

By Janice McCurties

When my husband and I divorced after over 20 years of marriage, it seemed like the end of a long chapter in my life, and in many ways it was. But it was also the beginning of a series of trials and challenges. Shortly after our divorce, my former husband passed on. At the time I had three children in college, and a younger child still at home. I moved several times and went through a series of jobs, trying to find the right employment to support myself and my children.  

While I was a longtime Christian Scientist and had seen much evidence of God’s care in my life, there was much for me to learn. It was very difficult for me to really let go, listen, and trust God, and frequently my own human will and sense of what I should do got in the way. That cost me repeatedly.  

Finally I made yet another bad choice, which seemed to precipitate a deep downward spiral into a depression that engulfed me. At times it seemed as though I could not think clearly. It was very frightening, and things felt out of control. I turned to Christian Science for help and had the constant, unwavering support of a Christian Science practitioner. I was able to somehow keep going, but every day was a challenge. I felt unworthy because I had made so many mistakes, and felt I would never understand enough about myself as God’s child to be healed. Sometimes the thought would come to me that I was foolish to believe Christian Science could help me. But I knew in my heart this was not correct, but rather an aggressive mental suggestion, and I continued to pray as best I could. 