When I think back on my last season on my college volleyball team, during the fall of 2008, I'm torn between calling it "the season of struggles" and "the season of victory and spiritual growth."

Early one morning, my sister and I were doing a workout by ourselves because we'd missed that workout with the team the day before. I came down from a jumping exercise, and when I landed, my back began to seize up. Initially, I couldn't bend over, much less move, without being in pain. My sister, who is also a Christian Scientist, helped comfort me until I calmed down and could move again. Then we finished the workout. Although it was difficult to do so, it was my way of refusing to let my body keep me from doing what I thought I needed to do althletically. Later on, I realized that this was mostly based on self-will.

The day of the incident, my back caused me a lot of pain. But I soon realized that I could choose between breaking down and crying or getting calm and seeing that pain had no power since, in reality, I knew that God is the only true power. The idea that I could do anything to ruin or disrupt God's care and perfect plan for me actually sounded humorous.

I continued throughout the day to watch the thoughts I accepted as true, replacing thoughts of pain with healing thoughts of good. Even though the pain was distracting, I knew I needed to stay focused on what was spiritually true about me.

I believe that God made me in His image and after His likeness, as it says in the first chapter of Genesis in the Bible (see Gen. 1:26, 27). As His perfect creation, I could express only good qualities, including limitlessness and perfection. And because God is the only power, an accident was powerless to keep me from expressing His nature.

Because I was unable to move freely or even put my shoes on, I did not practice that day. In past volleyball practices, I'd gotten so caught up in the drills or working through plays that I didn't notice some impatient, judgmental thoughts I had about my teammates. That day, I had a much-needed opportunity to sit quietly and replace those negative thoughts I'd been carrying around.

I took paper and a pen, and I listed all of the limitations that I was holding on to for my teammates. I felt I couldn't have this healing unless I understood myself to be a limitless child of God. And how could I see myself as limitless unless I saw everyone else that way, too?

So I crossed out all of the limitations, and then I wrote down all of the spiritual qualities that the women on the team expressed on a daily basis—for example the ways that they "soared" over limitations. I replaced ideas like "she isn't working hard enough" or "she is selfish" with spiritual qualities each teammate expressed, from pure joy and childlikeness, to grace and compassion.

I felt as if I'd been carrying around this weight with me and was finally able to let go of it. That was so special to me because it has helped me be more vigilant about not entertaining limited thoughts about anyone I encounter.

That night, as I was lying in bed, I just knew that the idea that I could be injured had no more over me. Rather than using self-will to struggle through this challenge, I felt confident that I could trust God's work—and that healing would take place.

The next morning, instead of avoiding or cautiously performing every action that had been painful to me the day before, I allowed all my actions to be guarded by God. I wasn't thinking, "I got out of bed freely; I wonder if I'll be able to put on my shoes," but instead, "OK, God, I got out of bed freely; now I'm going to watch You work through me in my next activity." I took the day one step at a time. And throughout my activities, getting out of bed, dressing—and even during that day's volleyball practice—I was totally free from pain.

It was the best day ever, not only because I was free, but because I took the time to let go of self-will and saw my freedom, perfection, and completeness. I had the privilege of seeing how nothing could keep me from expressing God.

RACHAEL RICHARDS
SUN VALLEY, IDAHO, US

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