Article October 27, 2008 Issue

NEW VIEWS AT EVERY TURN

BY HELEN STEVERMER

I had a feeling of deja vu as I walked my daughter to her classroom on the opening day of first grade. And no wonder — the last time I'd walked through those doors, I was attending my son's elementary school graduation almost ten years earlier. At that time, I didn't know I would be parenting two generations of children.

My friends enjoy teasing me about being a "perennial parent." With children so far apart in age, there were times when I was stretched to the limit taking care of their needs. Sometimes it felt exhausting to be stepping back into the role caregiver while my peers were retiring and relaxing. But far from being thankless drudgery, parenting across the age spectrum has actually energized me by continually teaching me to drop my load of worry through a deeper trust in God's hand in my life. In this way, it's been the greatest impetus for spiritual advancement.

After a first marriage that ended in divorce and years of parenting my son (now college-aged) as a single mom, I remarried and was delighted to begin the new parent cycle again when my daughter came along. Like retaking a test with the benefit of already knowing the questions and answers, I was prepared for the challenge. But I was surprised at how the landscape had changed since my son's birth. Should infants sleep on their tummies or their backs? What's appropriate discipline? How much time should kids spend on the computer? The shifts in human opinions about childcare were significant. Practices that were considered best in the '80s were no longer "approved" 20 years later.