Perfect pictures

TEXT AND IMAGES BY ASHTON JACKSON

Growing up, I remember spending afternoons sitting on the floor beside my bedroom window with a sketchpad and a box of colored pencils. I would ardently draw things that I was inspired to reflect on, from the tree just outside, to the house across the street. Sometimes I'd even work on a sketch or painting that would end up as an entry in a local fair. And even if this artwork didn't win any ribbons, I was almost never left feeling discouraged. I simply wanted to express the beauty and individuality of everything I laid eyes on. Everything around me seemed like a good reason to start another art project.

When I was in junior high school, I took a summer art class, thinking it would be great to gain some extra school credit by doing something I loved. Each assignment required that I complete a new type of artwork using different kinds of medium, including charcoals, pencils, and even collage materials. Though I found each assignment interesting, it was difficult to find the inspiration to draw or portray subjects that had been assigned to me, since, in the past, I'd become accustomed to choosing my own subjects. It seemed as if everything about my artwork was turning out wrong. Instead of feeling inspired when I was about to pick up a pencil to sketch, it felt as if the talent I needed was missing.

After just barely finishing the class that summer, I found my confidence seemed to come and go. That fall, I was too busy with school and too discouraged about my abilities to continue. After years of spending hours of devoted time to artwork, it no longer seemed enjoyable.