Article March 19, 2007 Issue

THE HOPE THAT SURPRISED ME

BY CARYL EMRA FARKAS

FOR MOST of my adult life I had not thought that I wanted to have children. Life with my husband seemed satisfying and complete, my work as a professional musician was absorbing and enjoyable, and we took pleasure in our friends and travel.

Then after ten years of marriage, I found myself gazing out an airplane window at a magnificent sunset and weeping at the thought that I would never have a child to share life with. This was a very new thought for me. So new, that I thought there must be some mistake—maybe it was because we were flying home from my mother-in-law's funeral, where having been together with family had been so comforting. Or maybe it was the Amy Tan novel about mothers and daughters I had been reading on the plane.

But three months later, those feelings had not gone away, and I knew this desire for a child was no momentary whim. With some concern, I told my husband what had come to me. I was amazed—and delighted—to learn that he'd been quietly thinking along the same lines.