The idea spoke to me, suddenly, and carried with it profound meaning. Don't be so hard on yourself: Be kind and gentle. It had never occurred to me that I didn't love myself, but I discovered that I didn't. But then as I set about to understand this statement, wonderful things began to happen. I started to learn what beauty is really about.

Let me back up a bit. By the time I reached college, I was just coming to terms with the idea that I had a feminine side. My grooming and dressing habits had improved, and for the first time ever, boys seemed to notice my existence. Around the same time, I noticed that my weight was fluctuating every few months. This initially led to some weight gain, then some severe weight loss, and finally weight regain.

A diligent and hardworking student, I just didn't seem to have the energy or time to exercise. And I was so stressed about my academics that I tended to overcompensate for my lack of sleep by overeating. I couldn't seem to find a balance. And what began as "lighthearted" self-teasing degraded into a perpetual banter of cutting insults about how my figure was shaped. It was a sure sign that I didn't respect who I was.

One day, I thought about all of this self-scrutiny. If worth were dependent on looking like magazine models, there would be no hope for some people. But doesn't everyone have worth, worth that has nothing to do with appearance? Einstein is not remembered for his physical charms, and the Bible doesn't have so much as a description of Jesus' looks. But both contributed to the world in big ways.

I realized that the real imbalance for me had nothing to do with what I was eating. My problem came with thinking that my body could be my source of beauty, happiness, belonging, and love. Undereating and overeating were merely symptoms of my imbalanced perspective about myself as God's child. Mary Baker Eddy wrote, "The recipe for beauty is to have less illusion and more Soul, to retreat from the belief of pain or pleasure in the body into the unchanging calm and glorious freedom of spiritual harmony" (Science and Health, pp. 247–248). Well, I did want to be beautiful. But beauty, I was learning, was not dependent on a waist size. The most attractive qualities I could think of were maturity, unselfishness, grace, and happiness. Is there anything about looks in there? Nope.

I formulated a plan. I started to take a new look at myself, appreciating the beautiful attributes such as color, creativity, exuberance, and humor. It was an active thing. I also began to make a point of acknowledging beauty in everyone with whom I came into contact. After a while, I stopped worrying about what size my jeans were. Not long after, the extra weight just wasn't there anymore.

I wasn't trying to change myself to feel all right with who I was. I already felt all right. In fact, I was great! These days, I spend much less of my time and energy comparing myself with other women than I used to. I'm seeing that we all have beautiful colors, and they shine through our love and unselfishness. And this was the mental weight that was lifted from my shoulders. The bonus? Once I learned to love other people more fully, my demeanor became lighter, too. It was a total transformation. css

Originally posted as a blog titled "Weight loss: body, Mind and Soul" on tmcyouth.com.

The following posts are from tmcyouth.com discussions on beauty. These selected comments are not republished with the Sentinel's intent to endorse particular views, but rather to give a snapshot of current issues young people are thinking and praying about in today's world.

MLEO

Mascara, lipstick, eye shadow, hairspray ...

So I've been looking a lot into what I've chosen to represent myself with. And while I'm not overly flashy or trendy, sometimes I find I can't always "live" without makeup ... sometimes it gets depressing that I can't just walk out the door with a plain face without feeling dissatisfied. I feel that it's appropriate to wear makeup to be presentable, but the emphasis on looking "doll-face gorgeous" is quite upsetting to see in me .... Is it wrong to use makeup? IS it a bad emphasis on self-image?

Benoit

Well I don't use makeup or mascara, but I try to shave every day, put on some good aftershave ... dress nicely, etc. ... God is perfection, neatness, beauty. Thus we take care of our body. ... As always it is all a matter of motives. Now if we just want to show off, to put forward the physical beauty by repainting our face, it is emphasizing matter, it is trying to better God's creation. Beauty is within Soul. If our Soul is beautiful, our body will be beautiful. The natural beauty doesn't have to be remodeled.

Katie B

If the makeup is just another thing you do to look "presentable," or pretty, or whatever, I think it's fine. In that respect, I don't think it's much different from clothes—it allows us to play with color and expression! My mum's always trying to get me to wear makeup—she says it just makes you look "finished." I don't think there's anything wrong with that (although I still don't wear makeup), and I definitely don't think her wearing makeup to "finish" her look is hindering her spiritual progress.

Inge

The question, I think, isn't so much about makeup or not makeup, but the thought behind it. The makeup itself, after all, doesn't have the intelligence or voice to declare beauty or not beauty—that's a mental suggestion! ... I had been praying about a problem where looking in the mirror was acting as a distraction to me. ... One morning I was getting ready to go somewhere and I was really getting bombarded with those thoughts: "Gosh you look awful today" ... After getting beaten around for a bit there was finally a moment of clarity. I stopped dead in my tracks and asked myself, "Says who? What evidence do you have for that?" There were two possibilities I realized—either I had been sneaking looks checking matter for progress or it was totally mental suggestion and had no basis. I knew that I had been diligent about not looking in the mirror or consulting with matter, so it had to be the latter. When I realized this, it was SO much easier to then get myself out of that picture and move forward again.

.... we have those doubts "Maybe I'm not pretty, maybe I'm not beautiful" standing in front of the mirror putting on makeup. The picture in the mirror is nothing more than mortal mind trying to provide evidence for its bogus argument.... So we should question those thoughts that deprive us of beauty—whether that means taking time away from makeup or not is an individual decision, and prayer will guide those right human footsteps as well. css