PARENTING October 17, 2005 Issue

LESSONS OF LOVE

LOUISE SNEAD

"YOU'RE NOT GOING to the party!" Those were the last words my 12-year-old daughter, Emily, heard from me, as she walked into her bedroom and shut the door behind her. I had never held back any social privileges from her, but this time, I intended to keep my word and not allow Emily to attend an upcoming sleepover party.

Let me back up a bit. After finishing seventh grade, Emily had begun her summer vacation with daily sailboating lessons, pool parties, and numerous invitations to sleepover parties. Also, she was getting ready to pack her gear for two weeks of Girl Scout camp in New Hampshire.

For Emily's younger sister by five years, Amanda, summer vacation usually meant that Amanda would have more playtime with her sister. But this summer would be different. Emily had a busier schedule and would be away for two solid weeks. So Amanda wanted to be with Emily any time she was at home. Playing with Amanda all the time was not something Emily wanted to do, however. Her usual sweet-natured voice and happy smile turned sour when speaking to her younger sister.