PARENTING December 13, 2004 Issue

Who's the Parent?

Melanie Wahlberg

Recently , I took my kids to the park. We quickly gravitated to some play equipment where another mom and her 20-month-old twin boys were already playing. The mom, Jessica, and I chatted a few moments. Then I went to check on my baby while my two toddlers stayed there and played.

Shortly, I heard some commotion and looked over. My heart sank as I saw my two-year-old, Lindsey, deliberately kicking Jessica's son. As I quickly went over to them, Jessica deftly caught Lindsey's foot and said, "No kicking, Sweetie. Stop kicking, please." She comforted her son, and soon he was climbing again.

Apologizing, feeling embarrassed, I scooped up my daughter. It was bad enough that Lindsey was a kicker, but I hadn't even been nearby to rein her in. I thanked Jessica for her quick response and willingness to parent Lindsey. "Oh, I always do that if the other mom is not right there," she said. She went on to explain her feeling that in a situation like that, whatever adult is closest should step in to be the parent for the moment.