Article May 12, 2003 Issue

I'm learning to see myself differently

It's fundamental to health and healing.

By J. Thomas Black

I was part of a group of military pilots working to develop proficiency in a new skill. The others improved day by day, but I got worse. My colleagues' encouragement was sincere and welcome. But sometimes it also stung, because up to that time I'd excelled at our work, and my ego was bruised. Over several days, I got so tense about it that I couldn't sleep.

Then, in the middle of a night that was as dark as my thought, I humbly turned to prayer. I thought I didn't know much about prayer, but it felt like the right thing to do.

I still remember that prayer. It wasn't big words or clever insights. It was as simple as a farmer planting seeds for the sun to germinate. And it was wonderfully effective. For a few minutes I thought about God's identity. I considered specific ways in which He is perfect—as divine Mind or intelligence, the source of coordination; as Truth, the source of integrity.