items of interest

with contributions from Susan Larson

". . . FATHERING DOESN'T END when a son is 21, or 41, or even 61. Throughout our lives, . . . we fathers can deepen our relationships with our sons, even when a positive father–son connection failed to form during the son's childhood," writes Neil Chethik, author of Father Loss: How Sons of All Ages Come to Terms With the Deaths of Their Dads.

"One way a father can improve his relationship with his adult son is by blessing the younger man. One man I interviewed, a business executive, said he received a traditional Mexican blessing—a benedicion—from his father when the son left Texas at age 19 to look for work in California. The blessing, uttered by his father in Spanish, affirmed that the son was ready for the journey ahead and called upon God and humankind to look after him. Being blessed in this way softened the son's feelings toward a father who had often been harsh and uncompromising."

"Fathers, Sons, and Loss: What We Can Learn"
UU World
January/February 2001

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