Article September 14, 1998 Issue

SETTING A GOOD EXAMPLE

Linda Eyre, Richard Eyre

Linda Eyre in Teaching Your Children Values (pp. 80-81) by Linda and Richard Eyre (New York: Fireside/Simon & Schuster, 1993).

One summer I had the rare opportunity of spending three days in Scotland with our three oldest children. I had envisioned seventy-two blissful hours having these children all to myself, learning wonderful things about history and culture, but it was not to be. One child didn't like Scottish food and couldn't think of any food but McDonald's (she claimed it sounded Scottish anyway); another child wanted to get up early and see everything; and another wanted to sleep. ... Angrily I pointed out everything that everyone was doing wrong.

That night I lay awake searching my thought for ways to change my children so that we could turn the fiasco into a festival. Suddenly I was struck with the thought that before I could change the children, I must change myself. Peaceability had to start with me. The next morning I began looking for things to praise instead of criticize about the children's behavior. I latched onto each little thing that was praiseworthy. "How did you get dressed so fast?" "Thanks for not complaining about sleeping on the cot. Tomorrow night you get the best bed!" "Your hair looks nice today," and so on. ... The more I expressed positive feelings and praise, the more [the] children responded with smiles and sympathy for each other. ... By afternoon we had had one of the greatest days any of us could remember and certainly one that none of us will forget.

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