Fearless mothering

When our first child was born, she was happy, healthy, and exactly what every parent wishes for—and yet I was gripped with fear that she would be taken from me at any moment. It wasn't simply parental concern, but rather an irrational fear.

Fear crept in in little ways that I just accepted as being a part of motherhood. At first, I wanted to sleep by her crib so that caring for her in the night was easier. In the end, I realized that I was terrified that something might happen in the night and I would not be there to help. I was also plagued by nightmares.

Since I was raised as a Christian Scientist, I had learned that none of this fear was necessary. One night as I sat on the bed next to her crib (where she slept peacefully as usual), I realized that my real power to help her at any time lay in understanding the fact that God, Spirit, was her source of life, and that her life was not dependent on matter. I needed to trust her care to God's hands.

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Belle-mère or beautiful mother
August 25, 1997

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