Article January 22, 1990 Issue

Patience and parenting

How much of the day would we like to skip over? Even "long" days look different when we wait on God.

Nancy Hormel Reinert

My daughter's hand goes up suddenly, knocking a spoonful of bright red beets into her hair and onto the highchair and floor. It's the middle of her dinner, toward the end of a long day. It's a mess.

Regardless of the variety of child-care philosophies and methods, no one has eliminated the need for patience. And the other day, hearing of a case of abuse that occurred during a baby's mealtimes, I asked myself again: Where does patience come from? From strong self-will? From counting to ten? From resignation? These familiar approaches may lead to a type of forbearance, a degree of resistance to indulging one's temper, but true patience is more affirmative. It has a divine source instead of being only a human discipline. It is an affirmative instead of only a defensive attitude. And it is a quality that aids healing.

Of course, it is love that gives us patience with our children —the spiritual love that is from God. This is the love that Christ Jesus spoke of and that his life so fully illustrates. Such love is not worn away; it grows with continual use.

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