Article October 2, 1989 Issue

Lovable in-laws

When I married I naturally wanted to have a good relationship with my husband's parents. I did care for them, but I couldn't honestly say that it was a constant love. Things seemed to become strained between us so easily, and there were frequent misunderstandings. They were very possessive of their son and often treated both of us as if we were still children. At times they seemed to demand attention, especially from their son, and I found myself feeling like a fifth wheel. I supposed this was just the way in-laws behaved. But as a result I could feel only a kind of lukewarm love for them.

Of course, from the standpoint of trying to live as a Christian, there really isn't such a thing as lukewarm love. If we are really praying each day to love God first, and our neighbor as ourselves, there won't be a love that wavers. If we are trying to be Christlike, whatever inhibits love will eventually be exposed.

In Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, the Discoverer and Founder of Christian Science, Mary Baker Eddy, speaks of "legitimate Christian Science, aflame with divine Love." The entire sentence reads: "The tender word and Christian encouragement of an invalid, pitiful patience with his fears and the removal of them, are better than hecatombs of gushing theories, stereotyped borrowed speeches, and the doling of arguments, which are but so many parodies on legitimate Christian Science, aflame with divine Love." At one point I realized that if I was going to be a "legitimate" Christian Scientist, I needed to learn more about the tenderness, encouragement, and patience of divine Love. If there was to be healing, I had to stop thinking of the difficulties with the relationship as "theirs" and begin in my own heart to understand what true love is about.

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