Frequently one may be tempted to think, "If only 'they' would change, everything would be OK." When personal differences arise, it often seems that others are at fault. We might even be convinced that if they would only change their position, everything would be all right. But is that really a trustworthy solution?

I found some humbling answers to this question early in my marriage when differences between my wife and me became evident. Before too long a pattern developed in which we each would in a sense go our separate ways within the marriage. This continued for a period of years.

One day when my wife and I were paddling a canoe across a lake in Maine, I was suddenly touched by what may seem a small thing: Although she couldn't swim, she was always so willing to go canoeing.

That quality of trust made me start thinking of all the other fine qualities she had. I thought about her love for children and her compassion for those in need. I recalled her perceptiveness, her incisive view of world events. Even her care for the household was exemplary. I saw that these qualities of love, intelligence, and tenderness had their source in God, divine Mind. I knew from my study of Christian Science that these qualities were evidence of her true spiritual nature, the only nature she could ever have.

Out of this brief experience began a healing in our marriage. The result has been a much deeper appreciation of the dignity, value, and worth of my partner as an individual and an appreciation of her inherent status as God's child. It is interesting that not long afterward she took up the serious study of Christian Science and later joined a branch Church of Christ, Scientist, and The Mother Church.

When we begin thinking "if only this" or "if only that" about others, instead let's consider them in the light of what they are spiritually Christian Science teaches that God, good, is perfect and has created man perfect in His image and likeness. We need to see that this perfect man is the true spiritual selfhood of the other person as well as of us. If we recognize others as they really are—created in God's own image and likeness and expressing the Mind that is God— both we and others are helped.

Isn't that the way the Master, Christ Jesus, saw others? Among the women who came to hear Jesus teach was Mary Magdalene. It is related in Luke that seven devils were cast out of this woman. ^{See Luke 8:2 .} She was among those who stayed with Jesus at the cross, ^{See John 19:25 .} and she was the first to see Jesus after his resurrection. ^{See John 20:11–18 .} What had caused such a transformation? Jesus must have seen in her the qualities of fidelity and spiritual discernment, which have their source in God, divine Mind. Perhaps it was these qualities that enabled her to be the one whom Jesus sent to tell his disciples that he was risen from the grave.

What is involved in discerning true identity in ourselves and in those we meet in our daily rounds? In Science and Health, which grapples with such profound questions, Mrs. Eddy writes: "The manifestation of God through mortals is as light passing through the window-pane. The light and the glass never mingle, but as matter, the glass is less opaque than the walls. The mortal mind through which Truth appears most vividly is that one which has lost much materiality—much error —in order to become a better transparency for Truth. Then, like a cloud melting into thin vapor, it no longer hides the sun." ^{Science and Health, p. 295.}

The material view of any individual is always imperfect, clouding the view of true manhood or womanhood. But this misidentification of ourselves or another will be corrected as we understand man's true identity as God's child. We see what needs healing in our own lives, and we take our own steps to be more of what God's man really is—healthy, holy, loving.

Our appreciation of true identity—in ourselves and others— grows as we recognize what it means to be the creation, the reflection, of God, Mind. Mind is the all-seeing, all-knowing Principle of the universe, the source of all intelligence. Because Mind is All, filling all space, there is nothing else. Mind, then, is cognizant only of itself, because it is All. In this allness of Mind's knowing, there is no little mortal who has to change; there is only Mind and its expression, forever perfect, complete, and satisfied. This expression is man, you and me.

What we see in human experience may seem far removed from the harmony implied in this view of creation, but through step-by-step obedience to God, divine Principle, we can bring more of this harmony into our lives. As we see that Principle is Love, we realize that Love is the source of what is true and right, the source of justice and harmony; so our obedience to and expression of Love become the important issue, not what we wish others would do.

In the omnipresence of Principle, there is always justice; there are no inequities, no mistakes, no wrong decisions. Within the supremacy of Principle, we find the answer to our needs. In the infinitude of divine Love we find man's unity with God to be the only reality.

As we let our lives be a transparency for divine Love, anything unlike Love—injustice, want, lack, sin, disease, death— must eventually yield to God's power. Our need is to know and express Him more fully. Our "if only" thoughts about others disappear in the light of our realization of how God's man has always been.