Testimony of Healing June 29, 1981 Issue

I was reared in a home where Christian Science was loved and...

SARAH-JANE FREELAND

I was reared in a home where Christian Science was loved and practiced. In addition to my enrollment as a pupil in a Christian Science Sunday School for twelve years I attended a school for Christian Scientists. Throughout my schooling and college days I expected and experienced much success and joy in everything I did. I understood my true nature to be God's reflection, and I never doubted I would have the wisdom, grace, and conviction of purpose that I needed. I have always cherished this verse in Romans (8:28): "All things work together for good to them that love God."

A year and a half ago my life changed dramatically as a result of a prolonged testing time. It started when I traveled halfway across the world to settle a relationship difficulty that had been hanging over me for quite a while. Though I'd felt guided by divine Love to take this action, the problem certainly was not resolved as I'd imagined it would be. I returned home feeling that my faith in God had really let me down. So began a time of transition—a "wilderness" experience. In Science and Health Mrs. Eddy begins her definition of "wilderness" with these words (p. 597): "Loneliness; doubt; darkness." They aptly describe my situation at that point.

I spent many months drifting and searching. The things that had previously been so fulfilling—friends, social activities, even my teaching work—afforded me no enjoyment or satisfaction. Self-pity and doubt gradually gained a foothold in my consciousness, and for the first time I began to wonder if I would ever be joyous and lighthearted again. For many months I cried myself to sleep each night, pleading with God to show me why I had to go through such an ordeal.

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How grateful I am to have been raised by a mother who was a...
June 29, 1981
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