Spiritual lessons from lockdown
Everything had come to a halt and there was no sign of it changing anytime soon. As the pandemic started, and then continued, nothing was the way it used to be. Because of the technology I had grown up with, I was accustomed to things moving and changing at a rapid pace. So while I knew I needed patience to make it through these tough times, I still found myself growing impatient, anxious, and fearful. I just wanted my life to return to normal as quickly as possible and to be able to see my friends and family again.
As the months dragged on, I felt I was slipping into a deep hole of fear, anxiety, and restlessness and it seemed like I couldn’t pull myself out. Finally, I turned to my parents for help. Together we turned to the Bible and Mary Baker Eddy’s writings, as we had many times in the past when one of us needed healing.
I’d just been waiting for things to change so my misery could be over.
One thing we talked about was “A Rule for Motives and Acts” from the Manual of The Mother Church (Mary Baker Eddy, p. 40). For months, my Christian Science Sunday School class had been working on memorizing this instruction, but I couldn’t seem to find the time either to memorize it or to understand its ideas. But now, at one of the lowest points in my life, I found myself turning to it more and more.
One phrase in particular caught my attention: “The members of this Church should daily watch and pray to be delivered from all evil, . . .” During the stress of the pandemic, rather than turning to Christian Science as my number one resource, I had been turning to every source of distraction I could find. Instead of seeking help to “be delivered” from the “evil” of this dark mind-set, I’d just been waiting for things to change so my misery could be over. Even though I knew I could pray, I’d convinced myself that prayer wouldn’t give me solutions fast enough.
But now, having arrived at what felt like a dead end, it was more apparent than ever to me that turning to Christian Science was the only option. I wanted to stop accepting these lies about myself and ask God to show me what was real and good about me as His child.
I realized that change would come as I put my faith and trust in my Father-Mother God.
As I began to actively pray for myself and study passages from the Bible and from Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mrs. Eddy, it felt like I was getting reacquainted with many of my early Sunday School lessons—for example, that God is good, so as God’s child, I am good, too. And this meant that anxiety and fear couldn’t be part of who I am. I rediscovered the spiritual qualities of intelligence, stability, and liveliness that I felt I had been lacking. Now I could see that because I reflect these qualities from God, they are always included in my identity. Before, I’d been waiting for the world to change; now I realized that change would come as I put my faith and trust in my Father-Mother God.
After I turned to God and got back in touch with the truth about who I am, everything began to look up. Even though the world hadn’t yet gone back to normal, I was no longer feeling lost and like everything in my life was out of control. I was able to lean on God for my happiness and peace and more consistently express qualities like patience and hope. Most importantly, I rediscovered how powerful it is to turn to prayer when I have a need, and that I can expect healing.