God's plan is the only one I need

I'd arrived in Louisiana full of enthusiasm, hoping to help with rebuilding efforts in the wake of hurricane Katrina. But my unpaid internship with the state government had left me feeling underutilized, disillusioned, and upset. After four weeks, I was ready to pack my bags and leave.

I sat in my office one Friday morning, looking at airline websites, ready to make reservations to leave town. I was angry that nobody seemed to realize how much I wanted to do for Louisiana—how much I could do for Louisiana. What storm victim was I helping by answering phones and filing papers?

I had dreamed of working in government after I graduated college. But at that point, I knew I could never deal with an environment like this. My anger turned to fear: if I couldn't stand government work, what else would I do when I finished my sociology studies? Surely a business wouldn’t employ me when they could hire someone with a degree in business administration?

I felt isolated and underappreciated—and all of a sudden, it seemed my future might be less than bright.

To anyone who knows this feeling, I swear that there is hope. For me, this hope came from God.

I picked up the phone and called a Christian Science practitioner for prayerful support. I was afraid and alone, but I’ve always found that practitioners have an ability to shine in light so I can start working my own way out of problems. I don’t remember many specifics from that conversation, but I do remember a mental and physical stillness washing over me.

And then it occurred to me that one reason I felt so disappointed with my work in Louisiana was that I had decided in advance how the summer should have gone. I'd imagined helping lots of people, getting assigned to really fun and rewarding tasks, and ultimately making connections to jumpstart my career in politics.

And when things hadn't gone that way, I'd refused to surrender my game plan. My expectations didn’t jibe with reality, and after four weeks of sitting around doing tasks that seemed meaningless, I broke down. I blamed my supervisors, feeling their lack of mentoring had squashed my enthusiasm.

What was really happening was that my plans were not God’s plans. I hadn’t been listening to my spiritual intuitions (or angels, as I sometimes like to think of them). We all have access to these helpful thoughts, but too much daydreaming and willful determination can sometimes make it tough to hear God’s words.

It became clear that I needed to “surrender” my own plans and start to pursue God’s. The Bible’s story of Joseph came to mind. Joseph faced many horrible situations. He was sold into slavery by his brothers and imprisoned unfairly, but he continued to surrender his path to God.

Joseph’s confidence in God’s government allowed him to remain positive—even flourish—in each miserable situation he encountered. His outstanding performance as a slave allowed him to serve as head of the captain of the guard’s household. Even when he was unjustly imprisoned, he was put into a leadership position. The contacts he made there eventually got him an audience with Pharaoh. Before long, Joseph was second in command of one of the most powerful countries on earth at the time.

It may have been a rocky path, but at each step of the journey Joseph undeniably demonstrated divine qualities of order, inspiration, and excellence.

I felt a huge weight fall off my shoulders.

But it was still difficult for me to surrender my future plans: I’d spent so much time thinking about the future, and my plans seemed logical and right because my motives were pure. I really did want to help people.

I was also afraid that if I allowed God to tell me what to do, it might be something I really didn’t want to do. But I was finally at the point where I wanted to feel God was telling me something.

And then the turning point came. I imagined the worst possible work situation—low salary, boring coworkers, poor location. I then said, “Okay God, I would really hate that, but if You need me to be there, I will not only do it, I will bring light to the situation.”

Within the hour, I felt compelled to call a consulting firm I'd once had brief contact with. This firm does super interesting work, and I hoped one day, after getting a master’s degree, that I might do something similar. The company advises governments and corporations on how to pursue more competitive economic growth policies. In particular, the firm is in a tremendous position to help others by creating jobs in some of America’s most neglected communities such as the Mississippi Delta region. I was put through to a high-ranking partner in the firm, and after a brief chat he said, “Drew, we’ve really enjoyed the work we’ve seen from you. I’m going to make some calls right away because I think you’d be a perfect fit here!”

That was Friday afternoon. On Monday, the firm offered me a paid position as part of a mentorship program. I'd work with veteran staff, have the opportunity to work in their Atlanta-based offices once I returned to school, and receive financial assistance to complete further education. I finished the projects I had begun in Louisiana with energy and focus, grateful for the lessons I’d learned there, and looking forward to the next step in my life.

I’ve learned to let go of my own vision and instead try to see God’s. God was looking out for me—but I had to surrender what I thought I needed to accomplish before I could see that was the case.

Following God's plan:

Science and Health
254:10-12

King James Bible
Gen. 39:20-23
Gen. 39:1-4