Article April 21, 2008 Issue

AN INVITATION TO LEAVE REGRET BEHIND

BY SANDRA M. JUSTAD

MY DESK was piled with accumulated bills and papers because my file drawers were too disorganized to use. It was an overwhelming sight. But a work colleague and I had recently sorted through the files in our office with amazing results, so I felt encouraged to realize my files at home could be orderly, too.

Happily, I began to organize and weed out my papers. I was making good progress when I came across a folder from college that reminded me of a time when I'd been pretty smug and self-centered. I'd been so sure of myself that I hadn't considered other people's feelings. As I looked at the contents, the memory of things flippantly said and done years ago collided with my radically different approach to relationships now. The resulting discomfort was a severe mental jolt.

Like dominoes on a table top, other past failings tumbled into my thoughts. Joy drained away—until I stopped working, sat back in my chair, sighed deeply, and silently asked God, "Father, how can You ever forgive me for having been such a know-it-all? For being so thoughtless and self-centered? So arrogant?"