I never thought I could love my stepmother
The summer before my senior year in high school, my parents separated after a marriage of more than twenty-five years. They were soon divorced. This took me entirely by surprise, and my formerly idyllic life fell apart.
I became confused, extremely sad, and mad. I had not been raised in Christian Science and had never embraced my family’s religion nor engaged much in their church’s Sunday School, so I was ignorant of the Bible’s teachings and had nothing to lean on during these traumatic years. I ended up dropping out of college after my sophomore year because I was so lost and couldn’t focus on my studies. Suicide was often on my mind.
By this point, my dad had remarried, and the hatred I felt for my stepmother consumed me. Every family gathering was painful, and the suicidal thoughts were hard to ignore. After a crushing breakup of my own, I was devastated and at my lowest point. Finally, in desperation, I pleaded, “Please, God, help me to understand what love is!”
I started to have hope that I would finally learn what real love is.
At that point of total humility, I started searching for answers. A couple of years later, after reading numerous self-help books, I was given my first copy of the Christian Science textbook, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy. Before I’d reached page 100, I was instantaneously healed of a two-pack-a-day smoking habit that I’d had for ten years, so I knew that I’d found the truth. I was “all in,” as the saying goes.
I began to learn that “God is love” (I John 4:8). I’ll never forget the first time I read that. I was overjoyed! I started to have hope that I would finally learn what real love is. Family gatherings continued to be challenging, so I asked a Christian Science practitioner to pray for me during each one, with the expectation that I could be relieved of the torment of hate-filled thoughts.
Then I found the powerful, healing article near the beginning of Mrs. Eddy’s Miscellaneous Writings 1883–1896 titled, “Love Your Enemies” (see pp. 8–13). It became my constant companion as I pondered what the article meant when it said that to love my enemies actually meant that I had no enemies. Not even my stepmother! This wasn’t something I could just accept intellectually; it had to come from a spiritual dawning in my thoughts and heart. As I prayed with the ideas in this piece, the hardened feelings of hatred slowly started to melt away.
After quite a few years of studying how to love the way Jesus taught us to, including learning and understanding more of the ideas in this article, I needed to spend an afternoon helping my stepmother. With the supportive prayers of a practitioner, I was able to express love to my stepmother throughout the day, driving her around and assisting her with some tasks that were difficult for her. At the time, I had been suffering from an aggressive skin rash for two or three years. It was very uncomfortable and hard to keep hidden. The same practitioner had been praying with me about this issue periodically.
After dropping off my stepmother that day, I called the practitioner and told her, with much joy, that I had been able to express love freely to my stepmother. I was very grateful for this progress—and within about a week, the rash had completely cleared up.
A few years later, my stepmother began living about a mile away from me. This made it natural for me to be the one to drive her to and from family gatherings. I was again able to express love toward her, but had not yet reached a point of total freedom from negative memories and anger.
I am grateful to now have the opportunity to visit my stepmother as often as possible and to joyously express love, without reservation.
Then one day, this statement in “Love Your Enemies”—referring to anyone who has hated us (or, in my case, whom we have hated) without cause—grabbed my attention: “. . . those unfortunate individuals are virtually thy best friends.” I suddenly got it! If I had not gone through all those years of self-inflicted sorrow and pain as I held hatred in my heart toward my stepmother, I never would have been driven to the desperation that forced me to finally search for God . . . which ultimately led me to be the fortunate recipient of that forever-special first copy of Science and Health! So, in essence, my stepmother is my best friend, because through her, indirectly, I found the “pearl of great price” (see Matthew 13:45, 46)—Christian Science—which has totally transformed my life.
As of that moment, I was free of all the hatred, which had caused me so much self-imposed suffering over many long years. Divine Love had dissolved it. I am grateful to now have the opportunity to visit my stepmother as often as possible and to joyously express love, without reservation. It is so wonderful to finally be free!
